You know how sometimes, you do something for your kids you think they’ll appreciate, only to find out later that it was a waste of money?
Such was the case last week when I let the kids talk me into buying applesauce already flavored with cinnamon. It wasn’t any more expensive than the regular stuff, and the kids always put cinnamon in their applesauce anyway, so I was more than willing to earn brownie points with them by fulfilling their request.
Two-year-old Jessica, however, was not impressed. When I served applesauce one evening as a complement to our meal, she said she wanted cinnamon in hers. “There’s already cinnamon in it,” I said. “That’s why it’s brown.”
Jessica peered suspiciously at the bowl. “But I want to put cinnamon in it,” she whined.
“You mean you want some regular applesauce so you can add cinnamon to it yourself?” I clarified.
“Yeahhhh,” she pouted.
“Maybe if you asked me nicely, I would help you,” I said.
“Please?” she said politely.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll be glad to help you now. But when you use your whiny voice, that makes me not want to help you.”
“Yeah,” Jessica said loudly. “And God don’t like a whiny voice!”
Isn’t that the truth? God don’t like a whiny voice. In fact, He tells us pretty clearly in Scripture through the Apostle Paul’s writings that we are to do everything without complaining or arguing. I’m pretty sure whining would fit into that category of prohibited ways to do things.
But most of us whine. A lot. Maybe not every day (though maybe so!), but far too often. We ignore the flat-out prohibition in that verse and figure that if we don’t complain too often, that ought to be good enough.
But God says it isn’t. His standard is no complaining. Period.
Believe me, I know it’s hard not to complain sometimes. Bad things, or even just plain irritating things, happen, and it’s tempting to complain. After all, what are we supposed to do, keep our feelings inside? Don’t we have a right to talk about how we feel?
The answers might surprise you. No, we’re not supposed to just bottle up our feelings. And yes, we have a right to talk about how we feel. But there are right ways and wrong ways to do those things, and complaining is a wrong way. When expressing ourselves won’t build anybody up and won’t help the situation, we should keep silent. But we can—and should—take those feelings to God. He will help us deal with them and know what to do next. Even when our emotions are unrighteous—bitterness and malice, for example—God invites us to bring them before Him. The Bible tells us that He desires truth in our inward parts, and that there, He will teach us wisdom.
Is complaining to God okay, then? Well…no. Complaining isn’t okay, period. Complaining is like saying what God’s allowed into our life isn’t acceptable to us. I know some circumstances are annoying, difficult, or even tragic. We’re not commanded to love those circumstances, but we are commanded not to complain. That’s because when we complain, we’re rebelling against what His will for our life is (whether it’s something He’s caused, or something He’s allowed), and when we’re doing that, we’re not in right relationship with Him. We need to learn to see our circumstances as God sees them—tools for shaping us into the person He wants us to be.
How does that work? I don’t entirely know. I only know that when I’m honest before God about my desire to complain, He changes my heart. He may not make my circumstances go away, but He always changes my ability to deal with them.
The next time we’re tempted to complain, let’s take our emotions to God and ask Him to renew our heart and our perspective. Let’s beseech Him for His grace in dealing with our circumstances. And let’s resist the temptation to complain. Complaining seems to offer a satisfying way to deal with our stress, but it doesn’t. True relief comes from God alone. Following His ways in dealing with life will bring far superior and far longer-lasting relief than complaining ever will.
Philippians 2:14—“Do everything without complaining or arguing.”
Isaiah 1:18—”Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”