Why God’s Healing Is More Amazing Than You May Have Realized

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If someone gave you a million dollars, what would you do with it?

I posed this question to several friends and family members, and their answers included things like “pay off all my bills” (actually, this one was the one most often mentioned), donate to worthy organizations, buy a new car, take a vacation, and set aside money for kids’ college expenses.

Some of those options sound pretty great to me. I bet you’d be thrilled to be able to choose some of them, too.

Now keep all this in mind as you imagine yourself in another scenario: You’re in deep financial debt. You struggle to make the monthly payments on your debt at the same time as you worry about whether the electric company’s going to cut you off. You’ve become a master at knowing which bills must be covered and which can go unpaid, at least for this month. There’s certainly no money for extras like eating out; in fact, sometimes there isn’t enough money to buy groceries. Seeing a doctor when you’re sick is now a luxury because you can’t afford the co-payment. Your husband tells you that his company is considering layoffs in his division, and your day-care provider (the only affordable one you could find) decides to get out of the day-care business and go back to school. And then your car breaks down and the mechanic tells you it’ll cost $1,200 to fix it.

How much stress would you be under?

How desperate would you be for relief?

Pretty desperate, I imagine. Anyone in that situation would probably spend a lot of time crying out to God. God, do something! God, I’m drowning!

God, help!

Now let me ask you a question: What kind of relief would we be crying out to God for? Or maybe a better question would be, how much relief would we ask for?

Most of us probably wouldn’t raise our eyes much beyond the present circumstances. We’d beg God for financial assistance, but even then, we probably wouldn’t be expecting much. A couple thousand dollars would make us tearfully grateful. If God were to completely lift our financial burden by giving us the money to pay off all our debts and restore ourselves to $0, we’d be ecstatic beyond words. And if He gave us a million dollars to enjoy on top of that? Riches beyond our comprehension.

Realistically speaking, however, God is probably not going to give you or me a million dollars, free and clear (wouldn’t that be nice?).

But that’s okay. Because what He does intend to do is far better.

We moms suffer in many different ways. We suffer as a result of guilt, difficult relationships, or heartbreaking losses. And when we suffer, we cry out to God. We plead for Him to take away our pain, or at least lessen it so that we’re not drowning emotionally.

Now let me share with you one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever realized: God intends not only to heal our pain (as if that weren’t amazing enough), but to bring us to a place where we can experience His riches in ways we’ve only dreamed about.

In other words, He has more in mind for us than pain relief.

Much more.

God’s healing grace not only lessens our pain, but also grants us the ability to enjoy the warmth of a gentle sun on our face or delight in the sights, sounds, and smells of a major-league baseball game. He heals us not merely so that we can be free from distress, but so that we can be free to exult in the pleasures of His creation.

His healing not only relieves our suffering, but also grants us the ability to let offenses go when we know they don’t really matter, or to be at peace even when someone mistreats us. We become not only free from pain, but free to be who we were made to be.

His healing does far more than mitigate tragedy; it enables us to receive blessings we’ve never experienced, or that we never thought we’d experience again.

God’s healing is way more amazing than most of us have ever realized.

So yes, when your soul is in agony, cry out to God to heal your pain. Yes, keep on beseeching Him until relief comes, and then, when it does, rejoice in His deliverance. But don’t forget to look for the blessings He has prepared for you.

They’re worth far more to your soul than a million bucks.

Psalm 103:2-5—Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—who forgives you all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. (NIV)

When God Seems Too Slow

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Last Sunday, along with much of the rest of America, my husband and I watched Super Bowl LI. Timmy watched occasionally, not because he cares about football, but because he wanted to be where Daddy and I were. So while Phil and I enjoyed the game, Timmy’s favorite part was the Skittles commercial, where he learned that you could make a rainbow out of the candies (“Taste the Rainbow”).

Timmy asked me to buy him a rainbow, so the next time I made a grocery list, I put “1 pkg. of Skittles—Timmy” on the list. As soon as my husband got home with the groceries and handed the package to Timmy, Timmy asked me to open it for him.

Usually, I just tear a corner off the bag. But since Timmy tends to spill candy, I thought it might work better if I pulled the two halves of the bag apart at the top. I carefully began pulling on each side of the wrapper slowly, so that it wouldn’t come apart suddenly and fling a rainbow all over my living room.

Timmy, seeing only that it was taking me far too long to open his rainbow, said sweetly, “Hmm. It looks like you forgot to bring your muscles.”

I’m sure it did look to him like I wasn’t strong enough to do the job. In his mind, that was the only explanation that made sense. After all, if I were capable of doing so, I’d rip that bag wide open and give him what he wanted right now. Wouldn’t I?

Well, no. Because my ways were higher than his ways.

Sound familiar?

Scripture tells us that God’s ways are higher than our ways (see Isaiah 55:9). You and I affirm that. Of course God knows much more than we do, we say. In the calm, peaceful times, it’s easy for us to affirm that God’s ways are different from ours, and that there are some things He does that we will never understand. But when life happens and we suffer pain because God isn’t doing what we want Him to do right now, we forget who we are and who He is, and we question His ways. We question His abilities. We question His love.

Desperate for relief from out pain, we conclude that He must be doing something wrong. Because He wouldn’t really want us to suffer like this, would He?

Would He?

Yes and no. It’s not that God delights in suffering; far from it! God never delights in any of the horrible, damaging effects that sin has brought into the world. But God does know that sometimes, our suffering is somehow necessary to His plan.

Well yay, we’re tempted to think. God’s plan is accomplished, and that’s great. But what about me? Do I matter so little to Him that He will willingly sacrifice me to achieve His greater plan?

Again, yes and no.

Yes, God sometimes allows us to experience pain because somehow, the results of all of that are going to further His great and glorious plan.

But no, He doesn’t let us suffer because He cares so little about us. It’s not that at all. You see, the furtherance of His plan for the world is what’s best for us.

This statement sounds harsh and cruel if we believe that what’s best for us involves eliminating as much of our pain as possible. But if we believe that the fulfillment of God’s purposes is what is best, we must acknowledge that sometimes, experiencing pain will somehow be necessary.

I don’t pretend to know why everyone has to experience each moment of pain and suffering that crosses her life. I only know that somehow, it’s necessary. Because a God who loves us so much that He was willing to sacrifice Himself for us won’t allow us to suffer one second longer than He has to.

He may be acting more slowly than we’d like. But He’s never too slow.

He always acts at just the right time. And He’s as eager for that moment—the moment when He can relieve your suffering—as you are.

He longs for that day, too.

2 Peter 3:9b—The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. (NIV)

When You’ve Just. Got. Nothing.

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My sister is my best friend. We keep in touch regularly and frequently. We sometimes talk on the phone even when we don’t have anything much to say. At some point, if we run out of things we can pretend are important enough to talk about, there will come a long pause, and then one of us will say, “Well…I got nothin’.”

Today, it is with reluctance that I say the same to you, the precious mom reading this. And I’m sorry to have to say it. But I got nothin’.

The details don’t matter, and I’m not including them here for the same reason I think Paul never told us what his “thorn in the flesh” was: so that we could all identify with him, instead of only a few. And I’m well aware that others in this world are suffering far worse than I am. But suffice it to say that right now, I am spread so emotionally thin and am struggling to bear so much stress and pain that I have no encouraging words for you. I have no funny stories. I have absolutely nothing to offer you that would make your day any better, urge you any closer to the Lord, or even make it worth your time to read this.

Unless, of course, there is someone out there who can somehow benefit from reading the following words: I still have faith.

I do not have faith that God will necessarily make my circumstances better (some will not improve until I reach Heaven, unless God should choose to do a bona fide miracle). Can He, if He wants to? Oh, yes. But will He? I don’t know.

But if He doesn’t, it won’t be because He doesn’t care. It will be because somehow, in some way, He knows that He must not. That He can not, if He is to do what is right and best (and only He gets to determine what those are). It won’t be because He is somehow unaffected by my neediness and pain; on the contrary, He will weep with me.

I don’t know whether or not He is going to take away my pain. I hope He does! But I refuse to define His goodness by whether or not he changes my circumstances. I refuse to stop loving Him simply because He won’t do what I want, like some sort of genie in a bottle.

I refuse to accept good from God, and not trouble.

I choose faith.

I choose Him.

Job 2:10—“Shall [I] accept good from God, and not trouble?” (NIV)

Daniel 3:17-18—“If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” (NIV; emphasis mine)

Why I’m Longing for Easter Right Now

Easter TombSometimes, you know something, but you don’t really know it.

Maybe you know it for years, and then all of a sudden, one day, the topic comes up in a fresh way, and you have this epiphany that causes you to see things in a whole new light. And you wonder, Why didn’t I think of that before???

I’ve known for years that Jesus lived in unspeakable glory in heaven with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Likewise, I’ve known that Jesus came to earth, which wasn’t really glorious at all in comparison, and that while He was on earth, He suffered all kinds of indignities and mistreatments (the biggest one being, of course, His murder).

But God reached down to my heart and mind through the words of this week’s sermon and helped me “get it” in a way I never got it before.

Lately, I’ve been struggling with, well, lots of things. Lots of pressure, stress, discouragement, and grief. I’ve been asking some raw questions. Why do I have to suffer so much? Haven’t I had far more than my fair share of suffering in this life? Is life going to be like this forever?

But, Lent.

For those of you who don’t know, or who never really thought about it (as I didn’t until becoming a member of the Anglican church), Lent is basically the 40 days preceding Easter. On Mardi Gras, or “Fat Tuesday” (which I know you’ve heard of), people have a party. The idea is that the next day, Ash Wednesday, they begin to engage in the spiritual disciplines of denial.

One reason for this denial to remember Christ’s suffering here on earth—not just His suffering on the cross, but His suffering in even having to be here at all.

Even Jesus suffered on earth, which led to my first realization: Why shouldn’t I suffer? Do I really think that I deserve to escape that which even Christ had to go through? If only I could remain on the Mount of Transfiguration, basking in the glow. But I can’t. Even Jesus had to come down off the mountaintop, and so do I. That spiritual glow that I feel sometimes when I’m feeling particularly close to God and all is right with the world is only a step on the way to the Garden and to Golgotha.

I can’t remain on the mountaintop forever.

Lent is basically a microcosm of life. We start out grandly and gloriously on Mardi Gras (as Jesus started out grandly and gloriously in heaven). Then, we enter into suffering, just as Jesus did. Some people who observe Lent also observe a “break”, where they do not have to observe the denial they’ve been observing through the rest of the season. That’s kind of like how it is in life. We get breaks sometimes. The fact that we suffer doesn’t mean there are never any good days.

But after the break, it’s back to suffering. Until…Easter! Just as Jesus suffered until, well, Easter, when He again returned to His former glory and no longer suffers.

Friend, hear me: Easter is coming for us, too. For you and for me. And praise God that it is! Our suffering won’t last forever. It might seem like it’s eternal, but it isn’t. Easter (or, in our case, heaven!) is coming.

It’s coming as surely as seasons pass, and days, weeks, months and years. Each moment of suffering that we endure is only getting us closer to our Easter, the time when everything will once again be made glorious.

It isn’t quite Lent, yet. Maybe that corresponds to the fact that life is pretty good for you right now. It’s even pretty good for me. When I step back and look at the things that are weighing heavily upon me, I have to realize that I still have a pretty good life. But suffering will come. In some form or fashion, it will come.

But it won’t stay, at least not forever.

Easter is on the way.

Revelation 7:17—The Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. (ESV)

How to De-Stress Your Christmas Season

Lots of lightsPresents to buy and wrap. Parties to dress for and attend. Baking to be done. Family time to be planned. Travel arrangements to be made. Special services or concerts to attend. Not to mention fulfilling our regular responsibilities—going to work, attending (or teaching) school, preparing meals, cleaning the house, and chauffeuring the kids to a thousand different places.

We adopt perfection as our standard and spend December trying to achieve it. And in the process, we stress out not only ourselves, but everyone around us.

Martha would agree with us. Not Martha Stewart (and even she doesn’t always get everything right), but Martha of Bethany. The one who had a sister named Mary and a brother named Lazarus.

Jesus and His disciples had come to Martha’s house to visit and have dinner. And Martha was going nuts in the kitchen trying to make everything come together just right. To make matters worse, her younger sister Mary wasn’t helping. She was sitting around fellowshipping, while Martha was doing all the work.

So Martha stormed out to the living room. “Jesus!” she said (I’m going to paraphrase here). “Don’t You care that Mary is making me do all the work? Tell her to stop being lazy and help me!”

In response, Jesus said something that for a long time, I didn’t understand. “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Wait, what? Doesn’t Jesus care when some people are slacking, leaving others to have to do all the work?

Of course He cares. He never approves of laziness or of shirking one’s responsibilities. Here’s what I think He meant by what He said (allow me to paraphrase again): “Martha, you’re focusing on yourself. That’s why you’re so stressed out. Mary has chosen to focus on Me, and an encounter with Me is of eternal value.”

Notice that Jesus didn’t say, “Martha, preparing food is not important,” or, “If you were better at this, you wouldn’t be so stressed.” He was pointing out the fact that her focus was all wrong. If Martha had been doing her work with a focus on Jesus instead of on herself—in other words, if she had been offering her work as worship—then she would have encountered Jesus as surely as Mary did.

This Christmas season, if you find yourself getting stressed, trying slowing down for just a moment and taking a deep breath. Is your focus on Jesus? Are you offering your efforts as worship?

You have a choice. You can either focus on yourself and become frustrated at all the things you have to do, or you can turn your heart toward Jesus and encounter Him in the midst of the hustle and bustle.

You see, Christmas is not about folding napkins in the shape of a swan, or finding that perfect gift.

Christmas is about encountering Jesus.

May we never get so caught up in the trappings of the season that we miss out on intimacy with the One whose birth we celebrate.

Luke 10:41-42—”Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (NIV)

Where Did All This Stuff Come From?

hotel roomHave you ever looked around your house and wondered, Where in the world did I get all this stuff???

I have. On pretty much a daily basis. It’s true that a certain amount of stuff comes with having 2 adults and 5 kids living in the same house. But this much stuff? Really?

That’s why I LOVE hotels. Because there’s no stuff. You have the basics, and you make do, and everybody’s happy, as long as the cable TV is working. Which always makes me wonder, if I can be that happy with almost no stuff, then why do I still have all the stuff that’s in my house?

Which brings me to last weekend. Being as my husband can live with almost no stuff at all (he’s kind of a minimalist), and being as I wanted much less stuff, my husband took the kids down to his parents’ house for the weekend so that I could stay behind and Get. Rid. Of. Stuff.

Which I did. I spent the entire weekend, from Saturday morning until late Sunday afternoon, getting rid of stuff we didn’t need and rearranging what was left. I don’t think I actually cleaned much, but I sure did create a lot more blank space, which makes me go “Ahhhhhhh” every time my eyes light upon a spot where something used to be.

And do you know what? Not a single one of us has died. Nobody’s even gotten slightly ill. The only difference seems to be that now, our favorite charity has lots more nice things they can bless somebody with, and we have a lot fewer nice things, which makes it easier to keep the remaining things picked up and put away.

Sometimes less really is more.

Here’s the point (which God kind of just dropped in my lap, as He often does when making a point with me): we need to keep our spiritual “houses” equally clean and organized. We need to go through them and get rid of all the stuff we don’t need. Let’s get rid of the things that are destroying the peace of our “house,” find different uses for some things, and start using other things that have been sitting in the cabinets gathering dust.

What kind of things destroy the peace of our house? Unloving attitudes. Gossip. Impatience. A critical spirit. An ungrateful or complaining spirit. Demeaning or disrespectful talk. Unrighteous anger (which, let’s be honest, is 99% of the anger we feel).

What kinds of things do we need to find different uses for? How about turning our take-charge attitude into a way to bless others instead of a way to control them? How about turning our dissatisfaction with the world into a longing for heaven, where everything will be more perfect than we can imagine?

And let’s not forget to put some dusty things into use. Bibles, especially leather ones, especially heirloom leather ones, make great additions to a decorating scheme. But they work even better if they’re read regularly. And what about our ability to organize, or to speak in public, or to be creative, or to sing, or, or, or, that we haven’t exercised in a long time? Why not see what use God might want to make of it? After all, if He gives us an ability, there’s a reason.

What we’re going for here is, to have our spiritual houses cleared out of all the stuff that harms us or others, and to have the stuff that remains be in use and a blessing to someone.

Last week, I simply got some boxes and bags, loaded them full, and set them aside for donation. We can’t exactly do that with our spiritual houses. But here’s what we can do: we can ask God to go through our house with us (doing it on our own means we’re liable to throw out and/or keep the wrong things) and take away whatever doesn’t need to be there. Then we can ask Him to help us organize what remains so that it can bless the people He intends for it to bless—ourselves included.

Does your spiritual house need a cleaning? Unless you did it like 5 minutes ago, then, yes, it probably does. Because even when we clean them regularly, stuff still builds up, making another cleaning necessary. Let’s just assume that we could all use a little (or a lot!) cleaning of our spiritual house.

So let’s get to it! Unfortunately, our spiritual house won’t clean itself any more than our physical house will.

Colossians 3:8-9—But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices. (ESV)

Second Place and a Band-Aid

Band AidsIt was a gorgeous, 72-degree day. The sun was shining. There was a light breeze. The fact that it was mid-February (and, therefore, supposedly winter) was irrelevant. Spring was making an early appearance—at least temporarily.

“Wow, it’s a beautiful day!” I said to the kids.

“Yeah,” Lindsey responded cheerfully, “it reminds me of field day at public school last year, when I won second place and a Band-Aid.”

I found her comment amusing, and I followed up on it. It turned out that the Band-Aid had been earned during the three-legged race. With her left ankle tied to a friend’s right ankle, Lindsey and her partner had been heading as fast as they could for the finish line. But Lindsey tripped and scraped her knee on the ground. Hence, the trip to the nurse’s office to ask for a Band-Aid.

As I considered the fact that running her race had left a physical mark on Lindsey’s body, I realized something: the same can be said of us moms.

We may not be running an actual race (though chasing after toddlers can sure seem like it), but the marks of our “race” are there nonetheless.

For those of us who have physically borne children, our bodies no longer look the same. We might have stretch marks, a C-section scar, or a little extra flabbiness in places that weren’t always flabby.

Most of us, whether or not we’ve been pregnant or whether we’ve adopted, carry a few more pounds than are strictly necessary. Coming up with the time and inclination to go to the gym when we haven’t had a solid night’s sleep in months is difficult. Not to mention figuring out how to pay for said gym membership, when there are so many other things that have to be paid for first.

Many of us have more gray hairs than when we first became a mom. Not that they’re necessarily caused by our children (well, maybe they are….), but having our hair colored or highlights touched up every six weeks is time-consuming and expensive, especially when there are so many other demands upon our energy and resources.

Then there’s the scar we bear on our forearm near the elbow because hot gravy from the meal we were cooking on the stovetop splattered not only on us, but on our toddler who was standing too near the stove, and we washed our toddler’s skin off first, while the gravy burned into our own.

All of these are not marks of a merely physical event, but of motherhood.

Then there are the laugh lines at the corners of our mouths and the crinkles at the corners of our eyes. None of those were there when we were 20. But now, the joys of motherhood have etched themselves into our facial expressions.

And our tummy, which is “so soft”, as our child so kindly tells us, that used to be much flatter many years ago. But it’s the softness of motherhood.

And our arms, those incredible appendages God has given us that know not only how to do great and strong things, but also now know how to delicately embrace a child who needs love.

Consider our eyes, which see what our child is really saying, what’s really going on in her little heart.

Our ears, which hear silence, and know instinctively that something “not good” is going on.

Our feet, which bear calluses from all the standing and walking we do in taking our child places, in standing at the stove cooking, in pacing the floor in the middle of the night while attempting to soothe a colicky newborn.

Our backs, which sometimes bend beneath the heavy load, but can straighten up in an instant when one of our children is threatened.

Our shoulders, which now carry the weight of our love for our child and of our child’s concerns.

Yes, our bodies are different, whether the marks are visible or invisible.

This is what the Apostle Paul was talking about when he said he bore in his body the marks of the Lord Jesus. Paul had suffered greatly because of his commitment to and love for the Lord. Yet he was not ashamed. Instead, he wore the marks with honor.

That’s how you and I can bear the changes in our bodies, too. Ladies, we can be so harsh on ourselves, so disparaging toward the perceived imperfections of our flesh. But these marks of motherhood are in reality not imperfections. They, too, are the marks of the Lord Jesus.

He is the one who called us to this precious position of motherhood. Ultimately, even more than we serve our children, we serve Him. So every mark on our bodies, every change that comes about as a result of motherhood, is a change that came about because of following the Lord Jesus’ calling upon our lives.

You may think your body’s not perfect. But it tells a beautiful story.

Be grateful for the story.

Galatians 6:17—From henceforth let no man trouble me: for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus. (KJV)

The True Nature of Our Struggle

Imagine this: you’re sitting at your computer, scrolling through the latest posts on your timeline, when one of your children tracks you down. “Mommy,” she says, “Johnny says he doesn’t want to watch what I want to watch. But he got to choose what we watched last time. Tell him it’s my turn!”

You close your eyes and sigh. Not again! You try to push away the feelings of discouragement and frustration. You’re tired of struggling against them.

They are what you’re struggling against, right? What you’ve been struggling with for a long time?

Wrong.

Please don’t misunderstand: I know feelings of discouragement and frustration are very real. So are feelings of anger, loneliness, and sadness. We’ve all felt them. We’ve spent time, money, and energy on getting rid of them—and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be free from these emotions.

But they are not what our struggle is truly against.

Sword and shieldIn the famous passage about putting on spiritual armor instead of merely physical armor, Scripture tells us that we are to don this spiritual armor because the devil is scheming against us. It then goes on to say, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Eph. 6:12).

I’ve always liked this verse. But it wasn’t until recently that I realized just how it can apply to me as a mom. And when I realized it, it immediately began to make a huge difference.

My struggle isn’t against my children’s bickering, or the mounds of dirty laundry, or the necessity of teaching the same concepts over and over again. It’s not even against the frustration, discouragement, or irritation I may feel. It’s against the devil’s schemes against me, and the spiritual forces of evil at work in this world.

You see, negative emotions do not have to be our response to our circumstances. But Satan knows that if he can get us to respond that way, he’s got us beaten down. He schemes to do whatever is necessary to entice us to respond in a defeated, discouraged, or dejected manner (remember that he’s always looking for people to devour; see 1 Peter 5:8).

So when we are tempted to feel discouraged, annoyed, or angry, our struggle is not against that emotion. It’s ultimately against Satan himself, who’s trying to ruin us.

Check out the Ephesians passage again: “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood.” That means that our struggle really isn’t against people, including ourselves. Our struggle is a spiritual one.

Why is it so important for us to be aware of this? So we can respond differently. If we try merely to battle the emotions, we’re missing the bigger fight. And if we fight the same way we always have, we may be using the wrong weapons. Ephesians 6 tells us the right weapons to use, including prayer, faith, and salvation. Why? Because these are the only weapons that will work when we’re fighting a spiritual battle.

We need to arm ourselves differently. We need to fight differently.

Fortunately, we serve a God who has equipped us for the battle and shown us how to further equip ourselves. To Him be glory forever and ever.

Ephesians 6:12—For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (NIV)

Slow Dancing in the Playroom

Rarely do I read someone’s Facebook post and think, “Wow. Yes. That’s absolutely perfect.”

Recently, however, a friend of mine posted a text message his wife (also a friend) had sent him during a difficult day at home with their one-year-old son. Here it is, reproduced here with her permission:

[Our son is] miserable today btw. Like doesn’t want to play with anything. Just the toy he threw behind the couch. I can’t reach it. And then he ate a leaf and cried about it. And then I gave him three cookies, and he shoved all of them into his tiny mouth. As he chewed it, in came too much and it promptly began to flow like spraying masticated cookie goo everywhere. And now we are slow dancing in the playroom.

I bet you smiled and nodded too, as I did when I first read it. What a perfect encapsulation of life with a toddler.

Life with any child, for that matter. Sometimes everything goes wrong, incident after incident after incident. There are tears (theirs? ours?), frustration, anger, weariness, and discouragement.

But that’s not all.

Look again at my friend’s last sentence: “And now we are slow dancing in the playroom.”

What a beautiful moment that must have been. After a long, difficult day, my friend cuddled her precious son close, and they danced. Yes, she had experienced a hard day. But she also experienced love, intimacy, and beauty. And so did her son.

You’ve experienced that kind of juxtaposition, too—the crazy along with the peaceful, the good along with the bad. I’m sure you’ve run the whole gamut of emotions and experiences with your children this past year, and you’ll probably do so again in the year to come. Some events or circumstances will be pleasant and joyful; others will be sad, and still others will fall somewhere on the spectrum in between. You’ll have peaceful days, and you’ll have crazy days like my friend’s day.

But remember that the “not-so-good” or even “really bad” days aren’t all there is. You will have times of peaceful closeness with your children that bless your mother-heart in ways that are unspeakably precious.

So, yes, discipline your children when they need it; clean up their messes, or instruct them to do so; and find creative replacements for that toy they threw behind the couch. But don’t forget to make beautiful memories.

There’s always time for at least one slow dance.

Ecclesiastes 3:1—To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. (KJV)

Living It Out: Being Thankful

Thanksgiving Tree 2014As I write, it’s only a few days until Thanksgiving. The ingredients for Thanksgiving dinner, which will take place at my house this year, sit on shelves in my freezer, refrigerator, and pantry. The special tablecloths and tableware (we’re using Thanksgiving-themed paper and plastic) rest on the floor of my closet in the plastic bags they came in from the store. The house is on its way to being holiday-clean, and the Thanksgiving tree is on the wall.

We started the tradition of a Thanksgiving tree a few years ago. I cut several sheets of black construction paper into shapes that resembled a tree trunk and branches and taped them to the wall. I made some leaf shapes from colored construction paper and encouraged each child to take leaves and write one thing he or she is thankful for on each leaf, which we then taped to the “tree”.

This year’s Thanksgiving tree involves store-bought leaves (yay, Dollar Tree!), but the idea is still the same. With 5 children, there are 75 colorful leaves helping make a beautiful Thanksgiving decoration in our living room.

In a few days, we’ll take down the Thanksgiving tree and put up the Christmas tree instead. We’ll crumple up the pieces of construction paper and colored leaves and throw them in the trash. The Thanksgiving tree will be done for.

I hope my children’s thankful attitudes live on.

Thanksgiving is a great time to focus on being thankful for all the wonderful blessings God has poured into our lives. But I don’t want my children’s gratitude—or mine, either, for that matter—to be limited to a few days each November. I want thankfulness to be a lifestyle, not a holiday accessory.

If that’s what we want—because I assume that you want this for yourself and your family, too—we would do well to ask ourselves two questions. The first is this: Why are we to be thankful?

For one thing, God has commanded us to be thankful. As with all His commands, there’s a reason behind this one: God wants us to appreciate all He’s given us (which is everything we have). He knows that anything less than contentment is idolatry.

Idolatry? Really? Yes, because when we fail to be content with what God has given us, it’s the same thing as saying that we need things to be happy, and finding our happiness in anything except God is idolatry. God wants us to worship Him and Him alone, and to find our deepest contentment in Him, rather than in anyone else we know or anything we possess. It’s not just that He’s jealous for our affections—though He certainly is that—but also that He knows that nothing else can satisfy us like He can. God wants us to experience the soul-deep satisfaction that only He can provide, so He commands us to choose to say that whatever earthly things we possess are enough, that how much we possess is irrelevant, really, and find our contentment in Him.

The second question we need to ask ourselves is, How can we make sure our thankful attitude lasts all year long, not just when it’s Thanksgiving Day?

There are several ways we can do this. One important way is to root out any ingratitude in our hearts and deal with it. Are we discontent unless all our conditions are met? If so, we need to repent and ask God’s forgiveness (which we can be thankful we’ll always receive). We can also make it a point to build thankfulness into our daily routines, such as asking each child to list 3 things he or she was thankful for that day as we tuck him or her into bed at night. We could pray prayers of thanks out loud and let our kids hear us, which blesses not only them, but ourselves as well. One thing I try to remember to do whenever we’ve all gone to the store is to thank God on the way home for the ton of groceries and supplies in the back.

These are only a couple ideas. You can probably think of many more, such as singing songs about being thankful, doing a word study in the Bible on thankfulness, or some I haven’t thought of. The point is that we need to be purposeful about being thankful, or the world will suck away our contentment and teach us to be dissatisfied.

I encourage you to take some time during this Thanksgiving week to evaluate how thankful you really are, and to plan some things you can do to make sure you build an attitude of thankfulness into your lives and the lives of your children.

May it be Thanksgiving Day every day for us as we return gratitude to the Lord for all that He has done.

Colossians 1:10-12—And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way…giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.