The Hard Way

Megan Breedlove June 8, 2009 0 Comments

I think moms should get P.E. credit for changing diapers.

Why? If you’ve ever had a child like mine, you know.

My daughter Jessica is now sixteen months old. She is well past the newborn stage where at the most, all she did during a diaper change was cry. She’s even graduated past the stage where babies discover they can kick, and that doing so can interfere with Mommy’s changing a diaper and possibly cause enough trouble that Mommy will change her mind and leave the baby alone. Jessica is now to the stage where if she’s not interested in having her diaper changed, she puts forth some full-body resistance.

This often involves rolling from side to side, or even trying to roll onto her tummy and get up. She’s smart, and she usually waits until I have the least control over her body—that is, when I’m trying to hold the front part of the diaper on her tummy with one hand and use the other hand to bring the tab up and around to secure the diaper closed. She will roll to one side, almost onto her tummy. In the split second it takes me to realize that she’s done it again, she’s onto her tummy, and the diaper is history.

One day, I was attempting to change her diaper as she lay on her changing table pad. For some reason (she didn’t want to be messed with, or she didn’t want to lie down, or because it was the wrong day of the week), she was particularly fussy.

I tried to interest her in a toy we had hanging in that wall hanging thing you buy with a set of bedding—you know, the one that has several pockets for you to put toys or supplies in.

It didn’t work. Jessica continued to fuss and to squirm back and forth.

Finally, I gave up trying to convince her to lie there nicely and decided I was just going to have to make it happen. “All right, we can do this the hard way,” I said firmly.

I leaned over, using my forearm to hold down her torso while with my hand and the other arm, which was free, I was able somehow to get that diaper on her.

Jessica didn’t like it one bit. Realizing she couldn’t get out of the situation made her even angrier. She screamed and cried indignantly until I was able to pick her up and cuddle her (whereupon the tears magically ceased).

It didn’t have to be that hard, I thought as she calmed down. You might as well have submitted, because it was going to happen anyway.

Then I realized something. Sometimes adults struggle against the inevitable, too.

Have you ever resisted God’s will or direction for your life when it didn’t match up with what you wanted—or wanted to avoid? I bet you have. I know I have.

Just as a diaper change was necessary for Jessica, so are the things God allows into our lives necessary in some way. So why do we resist? Why do we kick and scream in protest until the circumstances stop?

We do it for the same reasons Jessica did. Sometimes, we hope we can prevent a thing from happening if we resist strongly enough. Maybe if God knows how much I hate this, he’ll stop, we think. Other times, we resist out of anger that we can’t have our way. When we realize, as Jessica did, that the circumstance is going to happen and there’s nothing we can do to prevent it, we scream out our anger.

But friends, we need to remember what I wish Jessica could have understood: the one causing (or allowing) our circumstances knows what is best for us, and he wouldn’t force us to submit unless it were absolutely necessary.

Had Jessica submitted to my attempts to change her diaper, the whole experience would have been more pleasant (or at least, less odious), and it probably would have been over sooner. If we submit to God’s sovereignty in choosing our circumstances, we may find the whole experience less hateful. It may also be over sooner, because sometimes, God allows us to remain in a circumstance until we’ve learned a lesson. If we make that take longer than it has to, it’s our own fault that the circumstances endure.

I don’t know the circumstances of your life, and I won’t presume to tell you why they are what they are. But I do know that God only lets what is necessary through his filter of protection and into your life, and I know that resisting what he has chosen cannot possibly bring you any good.

Instead, stop resisting, and accept the comfort he offers. If Jessica had accepted the toy I was offering, she would have had a fun few seconds playing while I finished up. But in order to accept the toy, she would have had to submit to my will for her at that time. Even so must we submit to God’s will if we want to receive the comfort he offers. If we are too busy fighting him or railing against our circumstances, we’ll miss the opportunity to be comforted.

We will go through unpleasant circumstances in this lifetime. There’s no question about that. The only question is, how will we go through them.

Acts 26:14—It is hard for you to kick against the goads.

2 Chronicles 30:8—Do not be stiff-necked as your fathers were. Submit to the Lord.

At Our Own Speed

Megan Breedlove January 19, 2009 0 Comments

I love to read. In fact, I always have. When I was younger, I would become so absorbed in reading that I could sit reading for hours without getting up or changing activities.

My daughter Ellie is like that with computer games. She has certain sites she is allowed to visit and certain games she is allowed to play. She could sit for hours playing games, if allowed to, or maybe all day long.

One day, Ellie was sitting at the computer playing games when it so happened that Jessica needed her diaper changed. As I laid Jessica on the changing table, I remembered that her diaper stacker was empty of diapers. Fortunately, however, I had bought some more, and the box was right outside the bedroom door, which meant that it was in the computer area.

I called out to Ellie and asked her to bring me the package.

“Okay,” Ellie said.

I assumed she was coming, so I removed Jessica’s diaper and cleaned her up. I still didn’t see Ellie, so I called her name and looked in her direction.

Ellie was slowwwwly backing towards the bedroom door, her eyes still fixed on the computer screen.

She was obeying, but at her own speed.

I wanted her to obey me right away. The task I had asked her to do was important, even though it probably seemed like no big deal to her. I needed her to act immediately.

Instead, she took indifferent, slow action.

Friends, that’s the way we obey God sometimes, isn’t it?

At our own speed. Indifferently. Slowly.

Maybe when God gave the command, we responded instantly by saying, “Yes, Lord. I’ll do it.” But we remained caught up in our own interests, and the obedience we gave the Lord was distracted, at best.

Mommy friend, what kind of obedience do you want from your children when you ask them to obey?

Around our house, we have a saying that pertains to the kind of obedience my husband and I expect: “immediately, and with the right attitude”. You probably expect the same thing.

If we as parents believe that we can and should expect that kind of obedience from our children, how much better obedience must we acknowledge that God deserves?

And how much farther short of rendering him proper obedience must we acknowledge that we fall, even than our children fall short of obeying us properly?

Friends, we discipline our children for failing to obey promptly.

Do you realize that God disciplines His children for the same reason?

His ultimate goal is to conform us to the image of His Son Jesus. He knows that it isn’t good for us to determine the speed at which we will obey. We must learn to obey “immediately, and with the right attitude” for two reasons. First, He’s God, and He deserves it, and that should be reason enough. But second, we must learn to obey because it is good for us. If even Jesus learned to obey while here on earth, then why would we ever imagine ourselves to be less in need of learning to do so?

I wanted Ellie to obey me not only because I needed something done, but also because I know that she needs to learn to recognize my requests as more important than what she is doing, and to put them first.

It’s true that sometimes, I will make mistakes, perhaps even erring in how, where, when, or why I require her obedience.

But God never errs. Ever.

We know—you know, I know—that whatever God asks is right and good. Therefore, we should obey immediately, and with the right attitude.

It’s as simple as that.

Simple…but not easy. It’s not always easy to obey. But God even helps us do that. He gives us everything we need to perform that which He requires us to do. If we don’t obey, it isn’t His fault.

It’s ours.

Today, are your eyes fixed on God, waiting for His command? Or are they focused on your own pursuits?

Are you so deeply involved in whatever you’re involved in that it would be amazing if you even managed to hear God’s command, and to respond with a yes, much less to respond in a timely fashion?

Or maybe you hear God just fine. Maybe you know exactly what He’s saying. Maybe you’re just not willing to do it, or you’re too busy to do it, or you don’t care about doing it, so you let your own interests crowd out your obedience.

Oh, friend, if this is your situation, don’t waste another second. Get on your knees right now and ask Him to forgive you. Get things straightened out between you and God. Make sure both of you know Who’s in charge, and that it’s not you.

Then, get up and obey. Immediately, and with the right attitude.

Obedience to God will be far more pleasing to your soul than the pursuit of your own interests could ever be.

John 14:15—If you love me, you will obey what I command.

Creative Disobedience

Megan Breedlove September 29, 2008 0 Comments

My son, Kenny, is very smart. He’s also very creative. Sometimes, these two qualities make for an interesting combination.

When Kenny was three-and-a-half, he had his own opinions about what he did and did not want to do (actually, he still has his own opinions in this area). Unfortunately, sometimes his desires conflicted with the desires his dad and I had for him.

Often, if I told Kenny to do something he didn’t want to do, he would say, “Noooooooo.” Each time, I would say, “Kenny, you’re not allowed to tell Mommy no. You say, ‘Yes, ma’am.’”

For awhile, we seemed to be making no progress. Kenny would continue to say, “Noooooooo,” and I would repeat “Kenny, you’re not allowed to tell Mommy ‘no.’” (If I had a dollar for every time we went through this routine, I would be writing this from my own personal island in the Bahamas.)

Then, one day…progress! Only…it wasn’t the right kind of progress.

I told Kenny to do something he didn’t want to do, and instead of saying, “Noooooooo,” Kenny said—are you ready for this?—“Mohhhhhhhhh.” That’s right—same inflection, but different beginning consonant. He was obeying the letter of the law but completely missing the spirit.

Kenny’s creativity didn’t stop there. Another of his favorite responses when told to do something was, “Whyyyyyyyy?” I tried to use the same response: “Kenny, you are to say, ‘Yes, ma’am.’”

But Kenny had learned how to beat the system. It only took a few repetitions of this command before he indeed stopped saying “Whyyyyyyyy?” and began saying, instead, “Whuhhhhhhh?”

Creative disobedience.

Kenny was obeying me in a legalistic sense. He had stopped doing the things I was trying to prohibit him from doing. But the deeper heart issues—the issues of selfishness and rebellion that caused him to disobey me—remained unresolved.

It’s the same way between us and God.

How many times does God give us a clear command in his word, and we try to find every way in the world to obey technically while still getting to do what we want to do?

I know you say to put you first, God, so I’ll attend church every time the doors are open. I’ll even serve on a committee or two. I just don’t have time to spend extra time at home reading my Bible and praying.

Or, I know you say to be kind to others, God, so I’ll donate to the county food pantry. But my kids (or my husband) irritate me so much, God, you can’t really expect me to always be patient with them.

Or even, I know you say to respect my husband, God, so I won’t criticize him in public. I’ll save that for when we’re at home.

You see? We try to find a way to get credit for obeying while still getting what we want.

Our deeper heart issues remain unresolved.

It is this kind of behavior that prompted Jesus to call the Pharisees ‘white-washed tombs’. It is this kind of behavior that causes a watching world to say, “Christians aren’t any different from anybody else.” It is this kind of behavior that drives a wedge between us and God and keeps our hearts far from him, even while on the outside, we’re earning all the stars for our Sunday School chart.

How do you think God feels about this?

He’s grieved.

Friends, God doesn’t want mere obedience. He doesn’t want an outward show. He wants our hearts.

In what areas are you holding back part of your heart from God? In what ways are you trying to maintain an outward semblance of obedience, while inside, you’re going your own way?

Spend some time today laying your heart before God and asking Him to lay it bare. After all, if you needed physical surgery on your heart, you wouldn’t put it off if you valued your physical life. If you truly value your spiritual life, you’ll want to make sure your spiritual heart is healthy, too.

Psalm 51:16-17—You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Psalm 139:23-24—Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.